|
|
| Customer Service Information |
|
|
Self Confidence and the Way You Use Your Words
The way we use language can have a huge impact on how we feel about ourselves. By that, I don't mean what language we speak (English, French, Spanish, etc) but how we communicate with ourselves and with others. We all have a constant dialogue going on in our heads and this has a strong impact on our self confidence. If our internal dialogue is negative, then we tend to feel negatively about ourselves, our situations, our circumstances. Equally, if our self-talk is positive, we feel better. Being aware of this negative dialogue is the first step to correcting it. The conversations we have within ourselves are as if we are actually saying them at the pace, tone and volume we would use if we were speaking to someone else. This is one of the major reasons that they are so powerful; it feels like it is the truth because we wouldn't lie to ourselves. We need to be sure that what we say is supportive. Listen to what you say to yourself on a regular basis. Are the things you say negative or positive? Are these thoughts making you feel how you want to feel? Start by writing down some of the things you say to yourself on a regular basis. Write down the thoughts you have regularly or that are specific to a situation you find uncomfortable (or worse). Write as many as you can recall. Leave a space between each note so that you can write underneath it at a later stage. Think about the times when a perceived lack of confidence has got in your way and what you were saying to yourself in those moments. For example, do any of these internal dialogues sound familiar:- "Stop right there before you get embarrassed." "Why me?" "I wish I could just walk up to that person and say hello." "Do not try it because you always fail." "I cannot stand up in front of all these people and make a speech." "I never get it right." "I need to do more than this." "If only I had more courage." "People think I am an idiot because I get so flustered." "I cannot do this because I have no confidence." You can see how these self comments are very negative and are not likely to help you get the results that you are wanting. Not only are they negative, but they contain some powerful words that just embed the feelings you do not want even deeper into your thinking. You are, therefore, not only being negative in that moment, you are setting yourself up to feel the same way the next time that situation arises. Look at the specifically negative words in the above sentences. embarrassed, Simply by using such words you are allowing yourself to be put into a negative way of thinking. You are bound to feel badly about a certain situation if you approach it with these thoughts. Now take a note of HOW you talk to yourself i.e. the pace, tone and volume. Is your conversation fast, harsh and/or loud? It is not just the words you use but how you say them. You have already written down some of your own internal comments and conversations. Take a look at your notes and see if you can identify the negative words you have used. They will probably stand out like a sore thumb. If you are like most people you will discover that the things that you say to yourself are not very helpful to you. Now that you understand this point you can begin to change the words, sentences, tone, and volume of your internal dialogue. When you are communicating with others, you should use the same techniques as described here. Although our most common conversations are internal, it is important to realise that the same rules apply when we are talking to other people. Again, be aware of your words, how you speak and practice putting your new knowledge into action. When you change what you say and how you say it in conversation, you will start to notice that you are getting a much better response. Remember, YOU CHOOSE YOUR WORDS, whether consciously or unconsciously, so make the decision to deliberately override your previous habits and use words, sentences, tones and feelings that help you to get the results that you want. Allan Cowley is a Life Coach working on a one-to-one basis with clients throughout the world. He provides online coaching via his website at http://www.uk-success-coach.com/
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
What You Can Do As A Non-Raging Mate To Either Fix The Relationship Or Forget It (The following is an actual email conversation between Newton Hightower, Director of The Center for Anger Resolution, Inc., and "Betty" the girlfriend of a rageaholic.) How Much Better Can You Have It? "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." -Maya Angelou Building Unshakeable Self Confidence! One of things that Charismatic people share is an unshakeable self confidence. It comes from deep within and it's the knowing that everything will be okay. It's a faith that their life is going somewhere and it has purpose. These people often are the ones that everyone notices when they walk in the room. They magically attract people to them in a social environment and everyone stops to listen to them in a business meeting. Everyone knows they mean business and what they have to say is going to be important. Cant Take a Compliment? "Putting ourselves down, is an insult to our worth." --Helen Ksypka How To Reduce Anxiety When Affirmations Dont Work Have you ever read that you should think positively when you are feeling anxious? A Major Block to Constructive Change A Yale University study a few years ago revealed that the average child is scolded - criticized - over 20,000 times between the ages of two and ten. Mom says, "No, Charlie - don't touch that!" Or a teacher says, "Jackie, that's not the way to do it!" All those "Nos" and "shouldn'ts" add up to a predisposition toward self-criticism that we must look at before we can truly change our lives. Courtesy In The Workplace -- Can You Say, Thank You? Thank you is such a beautiful phrase. When you say, thank you, it makes a world of difference. Recent research suggests that discourtesy in the workplace is rapidly becoming an increasing dilemma for businesses and organizations. Workplace incivility is growing, including an increase in bad manners, rudeness, coarseness, vulgarity, and a lack of respect. You Have All The Resources You Need You already have all the resources you need to accomplish all the things you want to achieve. Sound too good to be true, doesn't it? Fact is, it is true. You do have all the resources you need. All of them. The questions are: Let Your Subconscious Be Your Guide... Oh Really? Not! Do you ever feel sorry for yourself? Do you ever feel like just sitting down and having an old fashioned pity party? Have you ever had that "woe is me" kind of predicament? Somebody said I guess I'm just like Job. Well guess what? Job got healed, and he got back all his earthly possessions and wealth. You can too. Discover how! Positive Attitude is Not Enough Contrary to the popular saying "attitude is everything" attittude is not enough. You can have the right attitude and all the motivation in the world and still wind up playing "dead atheist." Your Frame of Mind May Determine Your Health The mind absolutely amazes me. It will never be understood, yet it's been said that a healthy body makes the mind work better and it's been said that the mind can destroy the body. I'm sure you've heard about the power of the mind healing the body too. Questions and Affirmations - The Art (and Science) Of Talking To Yourself I Hear Voices? Ditch Lack of Confidence and Unlock Full Potential Being the next Carmen Electra or Paris Hilton might or might not appeal to all you, but there are things that do appeal to you, and you don't do them. The Power of Inner Dialogue Are you aware of your inner dialogue? If not, you can be aware of it at this moment. Just get quiet and listen, there is a voice inside you that is constantly talking to you all the time. Mental Fitness For Confidence And Winning In Life Studies show that men and women profit most with having self-confidence and by building up their psychological strength. Forget Positive Thinking There are always explanations for why things to you or others. Even though you might not understand why. Some of the time, when things happen that you do not wish for, you may be tempted to throw your arms in the and wish ... Get the Confidence to Be Your Best A confidence crisis is looming with a recent study showing that 3 out of 4 of us would love to be more confident but don't know how to go about it. The Power of Negative Thinking For some reason, most people find it easier to think in a negative way than in a positive manner. It seems that some effort is needed to think positive thoughts, whereas negative thinking comes easily and uninvited. This has much to do with education and the environment one has been living in. 5 Proven Ways to Safely Make Positive Life Changes One of the most important aspects of living a healthy and prosperous life is understanding "risk." By this I mean knowing how to understand and analyze situations in life that affect health. Being able to accurately weigh benefits and risks when making health decisions is very important! Too often decisions are based on incomplete or inaccurate information and this is a huge mistake with significant consequences! The Use of Affirmations What is an affirmation? One possible definition is a specific positive thought that you create in response to a current need or goal. We need to continue repeating the affirmation until it becomes a part of us, and we find ourselves believing it.
|
